How to Use Massage To Improve the Relationship

There’s very few things you can do for your spouse than giving them a massage. Who doesn’t love the touch of the one you love? It’s even better when it helps relieve your stress and bring you closer!

Massage doesn’t have to be sexual either. It can be an expression of love that will last for a very long time. You owe it to yourself and your partner to learn what a good massage is all about.

Here are some tips to help you prepare for a massage.

• Lock the door and unplug the phone.

• Be sure you have the time to spend with your partner. A massage is not the type of experience you want to rush.

• Turn down the light. The lighting should be soft and indirect. Candlelight is perfect. Even natural sunlight shining through a window in the afternoon is terrific.

• You might want it quiet. Although I think we all like Barry White and other soft sensual music, you might prefer a quiet room. This will help you feel and hear what your partner enjoys.

• You will want the room to be warm. Almost 80 degrees will allow a naked partner to be comfortable.

• Make sure your hands are warm. You can accomplish this by rubbing them together thoroughly or by taking a bath together.

• Cleanliness. Although it isn't essential to be clean before a massage, your partner will certainly be more relaxed if they are clean.

This massage will involve every area of the body include such places as behind the ears and between the toes. Be sure your partner will be comfortable by taking a bath. You might also make sure that your fingernails are clean and trimmed neatly - not necessarily short, just neat.

• Aroma. A nice scented candle will provide the warmth, light, and scent that will set the mood. Women might prefer a lighter, more floral scent (rose or jasmine might be appropriate). Men might prefer a more rugged, woodsy scent like cedar or sandalwood

• You will want to give a massage on a flat, firm surface. A firm mattress is acceptable; using pillows on the floor is good too. A massage table is best, but not everyone has one of these.

• The massage receiver should prepare like they are preparing for bed. They might want to remove their contacts, their makeup, and have their teeth brushed. They are about to experience something special and might want to sleep or make love (or both) afterward.

It is best to keep in constant contact with your partner. As you move to different areas of the body do so in a continuous manner. Keeping contact helps the massage flow smoothly and increases intimacy.

Use pressure that feels good to your partner. Listen to their responses and let them tell you how much pressure is just right.

Take your time. Relax and enjoy this intimate time together.

Keep your movements rhythmic, even, and symmetric. By following smooth patterns your partner will be able to understand what is happening and will relax more deeply.

Use an Oil or Massage Cream. Either allows your hands to glide smoothly over your partner. The effect of warm oil being smoothly spread over your body is absolutely delicious. As you move to new areas of the body, start by spreading warm oil with your hands. This makes an astounding prelude to massage.

You can start a massage on any portion of the body. You will want to be somewhat continuous and symmetric. Here are two suggestions:

First, start with the feet, work up the back of the legs, the back, neck, arms, chest, abdomen, and then front of the legs. Ending with the abdomen and the front of the legs allows you to direct blood flow to the genitals. This is a great order to use if you want to make love.

You can also start with the chest, abdomen, front of the legs, feet, back of the legs, buttocks, and then back. This order ends with the back and leaves your partner fully relaxed and quite possibly sleepy. This is a terrific massage if your partner needs to relax and rest.

So many people I know love having their back rubbed. This can be so very relaxing, but only if it’s done correctly. When performing a back massage, here are some great tips to consider:

• You might feel most comfortable kneeling astride your partner.

• Your partner might find that quite a bit of nervous tension disappears after a back massage.

• You might find that up to a third of the time spent on a massage will be spent on the back. I doubt any of us will complain.

• The back muscles are usually massaged in three groups. A successful back rub will cover all three groups: the long muscles that run parallel to the spine, the flat muscle groups that cover the top of the back and lower neck, and the wide band of muscles that stretches from the spine to the side of the back.

• Begin the back rub with a simple circulation (sweeping motion) that touches all three areas in a simple, continuous stroke. You needn't press hard during this stroke.

• Then make your hands flat and place your fingers facing the spine. Slide your hands up the spine, press with medium pressure. When you reach the neck turn your hands so that your fingers massage along the top of the shoulders and then down the outer sides of the back.

When you come back down the outer sides of the back, turn your hands back to the original position.

Repeat this circulation movement about ten times.

Then you can move on to pressing the back. Pressing the back is the most dramatic massage stroke available.

In order to get the technique right, you need to understand one principle fact about massage. Massage is the manipulation of muscle tissue. When pressing on the back, you will have two ridges of muscle that run just outboard of the spine. These ridges are where you should concentrate your attention.

When pressing up the back start at the very, very base of the spine (even as low as the upper buttock). Apply pressure with the heel of each hand. Lean forward as you press. Slide your hands along the ridges of muscle from the very base of the spine until you reach the shoulder blades.

In contrast to the circulation stroke, don't bring your hands back along the far outside of the back. Bring them back just outboard of where you just massaged.

You will know when you are doing this stroke properly. Your partner will moan with delight.

At least ten strokes are appropriate here. Your partner will probably ask for more. Entertain them with different variations (small circles as you glide up the spine, use your thumbs in place of the heel of your hand, scratch their back as you return to the base of the spine, use your imagination).

Using your thumbs you can concentrate on the muscle tissue just outboard of the spine. You can glide up these muscles best if you use a liberal amount of massage oil. Small circular strokes in this area feel absolutely divine.

We pretty much can guarantee that anyone – woman or man – will love a foot massage. But massaging the foot involves more than just kneading the foot.

Our feet take a beating in daily life. Who wouldn't want to lie down at the end of the day and receive a foot massage? Our dogs are tired.

The first stroke in a good foot massage is called a circulation stroke. The name implies that it increase blood flow in the tissues of the foot.

Grasp the foot with one hand and stroke the top with the other. You can use light pressure along the top of the foot. Moderate pressure might be required on the bottom of the foot to prevent tickling your partner.

Continue rubbing and stroking your partners entire foot. Twenty times on the top and ten times on the bottom is nice.

The next step is to rotate the foot. When you are doing this, only slight movement is necessary. This move is not a stretch; it is just a movement to relax the foot and ankle.

Support the foot with one hand. With the other hand, gently move the foot through its natural range of motion. Do not push firmly. Simply and slowly glide the foot in an oval-type motion. As you slowly rotate the foot, you may find the range of motion increases slightly.

Rotate the foot 3-5 times in each direction. Then you need to stroke the foot. This type of stroke won’t relax just the feet; it will relax the whole body.

Start with your fingertips right where the toes meet he foot. Use both hands to press down between the bones of the foot. Slide your up the foot toward the ankle, when your fingers reach ankle level, wrap your fingers around the ankle and massage the front of the ankle joint with your thumbs.

You should generally look for muscle tissue to rub when giving a massage. This area is firm with bone, tendons and ligaments. Try to do your best to treat the muscle tissue you find with thorough kneading.

The next step is to flex and rotate the bones of the foot. This stroke feels really nice when the top of the foot is sore from standing or walking.

Press the heel of each hand on the outer edges of the foot. You will be curling the top of the foot. When you curl the foot you will be able to massage the muscle between the bones with your thumbs. While curling the foot you will also end up pressing your fingertips into the underside of the foot. This feels nice as well.

An excellent head and neck massage is a great follow-up!

Just behind and below the ears you can feel the lower edge of the skull. There is a large band of neck muscles that meet the cranium here. Stroke these muscles smoothly.

With your partner lying on their back put your hands underneath their shoulders and lift up. As you move your hands up and over the shoulders your partner’s weight will massage the muscles thoroughly.

Then move your hands to the temples. Buddhists believe that the center of the forehead (sometimes called the third eye) is the center of the soul. Your partner might begin to believe this as your stroke their skin firmly with your thumbs.

You can then try the forehead press. The trick here is to apply pressure slowly. This stroke can be used to cure headaches or just to relax.

Gently place one hand on the forehead. Place the other hand upon this one. Slowly add pressure while maintaining even force upon the forehead. You can exert a fair amount of force (your partner will let you know if it is too much). Hold the pressure for a silent count of 10 seconds.

Then it’s time for the cheeks. Place your hands flat along your partners face. Move your hands in circles. Although this move results in some pretty goofy poses it is quite relaxing. A good massage relaxes muscles that people aren't even aware they have.

When you use your arms and hands as much as I do (I’m a writer, after all!), a good arm and hand massage can be absolute heaven!

Massaging the arms is enjoyable for both partners. For the receiver it relaxing and enjoyable; for the giver is satisfyingly easy and effective.

Begin by placing your partners hand alongside your chest. This relieves your partner from holding their arm in the air. Knead the muscles of your partner’s arms using both hands. Using your thumbs to knead the muscles of the arms is best.

When you roll the arms in a massage, it will stimulate the muscle in a different direction. Place your hands on either side of your partners arm. Keep your hands flat. Moving your hands in opposite directions has an effect similar to rolling dough into a long strand. This back and forth motion stimulates the muscle of your partners arm.

Remember to be rhythmic and predictable when you do this maneuver so that your partner can relax.

Then you can move on to a snaking of the arms. This is a truly fantastic yet unusual stroke in the art of massage!

Hold your partner’s arm up with one hand. With the other hand start at the shoulder and grip the muscle tissue between your thumb and four fingers. Quickly grip and release the muscles while sliding your hand up toward the wrist. This pulsing effect is quite enjoyable. Complete this movement 7-10 times.

You can wind up a great massage session with a hand massage. I can speak from experience, here, even though the foot massage is awesome, a hand massage can almost make you see nirvana!

Use a massage oil or a simple olive oil from your kitchen. Start by pouring about half a teaspoon of oil onto the palm of your hand, and then rub the oil over both your palms.

Gently spread the oil around your partner’s hand using light stroking movements. Move your thumbs away from each other, from the centre of the hand towards the outsides. Do this several times

Now move your thumbs between the tendons of the back of the hand, pushing up towards the wrist. You also can try small circular movements between the tendons if you like. Do this several times as well.

Take each finger in turn between your own finger and thumb. Make small twisting or circular movements up and down each finger, finishing with their thumb.

Move your thumbs away from each other, from the centre of the palm. Press more firmly with your own thumbs. Make small circular movements with your thumbs all over their palm

Finish the massage by holding the persons hand with one hand, and sliding your other hand up their arm. You can do this a few times.

Now do the same on their other hand!

Massaging your partner isn’t just therapeutic for them – it’s therapeutic for you as a couple! It can be erotic if you want it to be, it can be simply a way for you to connect as a couple, or it can introduce a whole new intimacy into your relationship that you never thought could be there.

Don’t expect too much, but remember that massage is an excellent way to connect with your partner and re-kindle not only romantic feelings, but feelings of oneness as well. When you work together as a team in this relationship, you should treat each other to the perks of being part of a couple as well!

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